Okay Kiddies! Got a Story for Ya....

Okay Kids, Got a Story for Ya……

Alright, so I was going into a Walgreen’s after work today, to buy me some shampoo ‘n stuff, right? I go in, and it’s your normal Walgreen’s, right? Obnoxious muzak blaring from the speakers, items on sale on the end-caps that you would have never before thought of purchasing, but are suddenly feeling tempted by that jumbo-pack of makeup sponges, going for 99 cents a bag. Well, I had my little shopping basket filled with mousse, shampoo, hairspray, (the works) and my little fist was full of coupons for said hairspray, shampoo, and mousse, that I had dutifully clipped from the Sunday newspaper. (Cuz’ who doesn’t love to save money, right?) My basket was getting heavy, so I headed to the checkout, only to have my progress impeded by a very large black woman, who was yelling at the poor cashier named “Devin,” and holding up the entire line of 6 people. Me and my six fellow shoppers stood around for five minutes, wondering what the holdup was. “Devin,” called on the intercom for a relief cashier, and the store manager, to help everybody else get their stuff and leave. As I was inching towards the front, I couldn’t help listen in on what exactly was going on at the front of the line.

Woman: Whadaya mean it won’t work?? Try it again.

Devin: I’m sorry, Ma’am, but your food stamp won’t work for this item.

Woman: Well, why won’t it work?!

Devin: Well, your food stamp is specified as “For Medicine, or Medical Needs,” and you’re trying to use it to buy a pack of Menthol Lights.

Woman: “Well, they’re ten dollars! It worked on the rest of my stuff.”

Devin: “Yes, well you bought diabetic-friendly cereal, nutrition shakes, and some vitamins. Those count as ‘medical needs.’ I don’t think a pack of cigarettes count.”

Woman: Oh, well fine, then. Just put it on my card.”

Devin: “Okay.”

Woman: “Wait a minute – I changed my mind. I don’t want it on the card, no more. Can
you, like, put the money back on it?”

Devin: “I’m sorry, Ma’am, but it is against store policy to do a manual void-out on credit
cards. I would have to get a manager to do that, since I’m not allowed to.”

Woman: “Fine – I’ll just pay for it by check.”

Devin: “Well, actually, it is against store policy to accept checks, too.”

Woman: “Well you’d better! I want my cigarettes, and I have a bus to catch!”

Devin: “I can accept your check if you have a valid, photo- I.D. Do you have one?”

Woman: “Yes.”

Devin: “Okay.” *Woman writes out a check, and hands it to him.*
“Ma’am, I’m still gonna need to see your photo – I.D. Do you have a driver’s
license?”

Woman: “No.”

Devin: “A valid state I.D.?”

Woman: “No.”

Devin: “A passport? A social-security card?”

Woman: “No. Here – take this.” *She hands him a card*

Devin: “Ma’am, this is a card for a church.”

Woman: “It’s so I can park there!”

Devin: “It doesn’t have your picture on it.”

Woman: “Well that’s my name!!”

Devin: “Ma’am, I am really, very sorry, but I don’t think I can help you.”

And with that, the woman stalked off, leaving the pack of menthol lights on the check-out counter. Meanwhile, Devin stood there looking dazed for a moment, and then went off to take a quick break. I guess I wasn’t that mad that I had to wait, because I found the whole ordeal to be pretty amusing. I feel bad for poor Devin, though. Even though I’ll probably never see him again, I give him a gold star!