Misc.

Hm... having sex on the living room couch whilst watching "Cops" and "Judge Alex" on patchy, broadcast t.v. at 1am. You cannot get trashier than that. It's a slippery slope, my friends. :)

Chris: "Chocolate is a tool invented by Satan to enslave women."

Chris: "Bonus is a funny word. I always thought the plural should be 'boni.'"

Fable II: [Note: In this game, there are various dyes you can purchase to change your character's clothing color, hair color, etc. This was one of them - I think I almost shat myself when I read the description. Hint: think "Princess Bride."]
'You have found, "Swarthy Indigo Revenge Dye"! Descr.: "You have found the rare Indigo, of the genus 'Montoya.' You have crushed its flower. Prepare to dye."

My dad was looking over my bank statement on a shared account we have while I was in Washington this summer. Suddenly, I get a panicked e-mail from him about one of the places I used my card while in Washington. Apparently he thought I had gone to see a doctor, and he was all worried that it wasn't covered by my health insurance.

Dad: "Who is this, 'Dr. Juanita Bothell' that you saw when you were in Washington??? You KNOW our health plan doesn't cover out-of-state doctor's visits!"

Me: Um..... Dad....? That was from when I got gas at a gas station on Juanita Drive, in Bothell Washington."

Dad: "Oh."

Me: "Nothing says "Goner" like a piranha owned by a vegan."

Me: "What would my super-power be? Well, you know how some people can throw their voices, and it sounds like someone else is talking? Yeah, I wish I could do that with my farts."

Me: "Chris, pull your pants up. Your fun parts are showing."

Chris: "Yeah, well your NON-fun-parts are showing. Like you FACE."